development


WHAT IS YOUR STATE OF LIFE?
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What a crock of crap....


You are normal. Lucky little you.


What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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Jude Law: you like them romantic and British with beauiful green eyes.


Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
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narcissistic


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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General Schmo
-- You are a normal, everyday shmo that most people can recognize...congratulations....


>>What Type of High School Stereotype Are You?<<
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You don't belong in Hell. Sorry.

...You probably fucking lied or cheated. Fucker.


Why Will You Go To Hell?
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You are a dark writer. A fierce and loyal follower of Poe and the other gothic authors, you LOVE to instill a sense of revulsion and somewhat fear in your readers. You love to poke their brains with logic dealing with the darker side of the human mind and character. Truly surprising and a true individual, you'll do ANYTHING to create a scene. :)


What's YOUR Writing Style?
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voyeur


What's YOUR sexual fetish?
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I'm noticing a theme here....


Tramp Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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you are a horny little fucker


what swear word are you?
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You are Prince Humperdinck. You want everything
your own way and you're not afraid to lie and
cheat to get it! You surround yourself with
adulating comrades so that you can use mass
brute force to achieve your goals. All this
goes to hide the fact that you're a big yellow
bellied coward!


"A princess bride personality test!"
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Oh aye? Think yer smart, do ye? Think it's cool to
be 'run-of-the mill', 'average-joe', 'there's
nothin odd about me', don't you. Well, u know
what? It's not ok, not ok at all....thats why u
gotta 'remeber you're a Womble'. Next time you
feel a bit of mediocreness coming on, think of
this phrase....and BE a Womble.


!*What should your trademark phrase be?*!
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And tying for second place...

and...

Woo hoo!

Oh baby! A personality test!


free enneagram test

And another

Yep. That's me.


The sidekick and best friend of the slayer, Willow became addicted to using her wiccan powers and, after the death of her girlfriend, used them for evil...


What is your Buffy the Vampire Slayer Superpower?
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May I have another?

Oh boy, another quiz!


You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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The pretty colors...

Gotta love procrastinating with online quizzes. I particularly like this one, because it's super quick.

The results:

My existing situation

"The situation is difficult and she is trying to persist in her objectives against resistance. Finds it necessary to conceal her intentions as an added precaution, in order to disarm the opposition.

My stress sources

"Unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension. Needs to feel secure and to avoid any further disappointment, and fears being passed over or losing standings and prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads her to make exaggerated demands and to refuse to make reasonable compromises."

My restrained characteristics

"Unfulfilled hopes have led to uncertainty and apprehension. Needs to feel secure and to avoid any further disappointment, and fears being passed over or losing standings and prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads her to make exaggerated demands and to refuse to make reasonable compromises."

My desired objective

"Suffering from the effects of those things which are being rejected as disagreeable, and is strongly resisting them. Just wants to be left in peace."

My actual problem

"Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, emptiness, and an unadmitted self-contempt. Her refusal to admit this leads to her adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude."

Wow. That was fun. A real feel-good evaluation!!!

Desperado: A Love Story

I want to talk about something. I want to tell you something that you want to read. Something noteworthy. Something for the tabloids. But I'll probably just end up rambling aimlessly from a soapbox perched atop the highest peak of Mount Everest. Or something.

Here, allow me to post a random conversation from a random chatroom. Remember, this is completely random. I will conceal the location of the chatroom being examined, in order to semi-protect identities, though that really isn't necessary anyway.

TommyJ12 : anyone want to get off on the phone whisper me
piarlin : hi
Me: hello hello
tempflower_0 : hi room
piarlin : hi
tempflower_0 : hi
Straplesskenseth1 : k i am back
tempflower_0 : wb
Straplesskenseth1 : want to cry
Me: anything fun going on in here?
BSterling : chicago here
Guest_sergiocolonsr : chicago anyone?
momboking_1 : looking for karen44
yngcplnohio : Anyone from Ohio interested in talking to a 24/f
Me: used to be chicago, now in ny
Slicker7444 : georgia couple male 45 and female 42 looking for female over 35
ExJessi : anyone want to have some dirty nasty phone fun? whisper me
Guest_devyjo : any couples in here
Guest_sergiocolonsr : missed u [my screen name]
Curious_Girl2 : hello all anyone in cali
Straplesskenseth1 : yeap
Curious_Girl2 : hello all anyone in cali
Straplesskenseth1 : yeap
Straplesskenseth1 : ugly calif
Doubledippin2 : 36/m/bi/GA GA couples whisper me for mmf action
Me: where in chicago?
Straplesskenseth1 : hate it here
momboking_1 : hi jessi, u m or f
yngcplnohio : Ohio anyone?
Curious_Girl2 : where are u
.lilacmist35 : 35/bi curious f/hawaii
Guest_sergiocolonsr : nw side harlem belmont
Straplesskenseth1 : southern
aztecdesgn1 : 28/wm/okc
Guest_devyjo : any couple here
Curious_Girl2 : what part
salant12 : 22 male bi--wisper
Straplesskenseth1 : agoria hill area
aztecdesgn1 : ne1 from oklahoma here?
nhnorthguy : any guys in new hampshire
Me: lived western/armitage (north)
Curious_Girl2 : im stuck in the central valley
marckross4 : hello everybody
.Guest_devyjo : just whisper me if u area couple
Doubledippin2 : Sexy bi GA male...... GA couples whisper me
momboking_1 : need to find karen44
Straplesskenseth1 : is it cold there too
Guest_sergiocolonsr : it has changed now
Slicker7444 : georgia couple looking for female over 35
Curious_Girl2 : not really
marckross4 : montrealcpl looking for single female
Guest_DobiesDoll : hello room
nhnorthguy : no bi guys here
Guest_DobiesDoll : 24 bi f from connecticut
Guest_gdsg622 : mwm,34,6ft.180
momboking_1 : karen 44 wisper me
lickndip : pa/nj, whisper
Curious_Girl2 : do u know anyone in here
TommyJ12 : anyone for phone whisper me
_ChArLeE_1 : karen quisiera tenerte asi pero sin ropa y metertelo todo hasta el fondo
momboking_1 : indiana here
ImaBLACKMANinNYCNY718 : ISO other men preferable Black to chat w/ anywhere in the US. NON SEXUAL.
jock5802 : CAN YOU PEOPLE PLEASE QUIT SENDING THOSE DAMN ADVERTISEMENTS THEY ARE ANNOYING
Guest_gdsg622 : anyone from philly here
nhnorthguy : new england ?????
momboking_1 : any fem for phone
Curious_Girl2 : this room is really boring today
momboking_1 : very boring
_ChArLeE_1 : karen hola
Curious_Girl2 : it is no one wants to talk
Slicker7444 : georgia couple looking for female over 35
Guest_gdsg622 : city
momboking_1 : very boring today
biloverislooking27 : 26/f/NH very bi here
Guest_sergiocolonsr : still there hazy?
BSterling : chicago here
Curious_Girl2 : do u caht here often
momboking_1 : hi courious
Curious_Girl2 : hi
Guest_gdsg622 : looking 4 some fun
_ChArLeE_1 : karen quiro platicar con tigo
candyinlatex : any bi girls want to chat
Me: yeah i'm still here, just watching good ol charlie talking to himself about how he wants karen without clothes on
BSterling : chicago'
8_ChArLeE_1 has left the conversation.
Guest_sergiocolonsr : i saw some of it,lol
Guest_sergiocolonsr : wanna whisper?hazy?

Okay. So I never really responded to Sergio after that--not that I think it's wrong to "whisper" (is that what they're calling it these days?), but it usually isn't my thing. I thought I'd go into an Adult Bisexual chatroom, you know, because it seemed like it would be more interesting than say, a general chat. But I was seriously amiss in that assumption. Sorry to make you read all of that, but somebody needed to experience the agony with me! TOTAL BOREDOM! Desperation before the Great Hallmark Holiday!

Such a pill

Okay.

I haven't written in like a month. During that time, I've gotten some random mail here and there, inquiring into the present state of my life. I've been very busy--have more than doubled my caseload at work--and there have been some other, more personal things going on, so my mind has been elsewhere.

I've come to this blog a couple of times with the genuine intention of updating this thing. But nothing wants to come out.

My dad. I got an email from Judy a few weeks ago. The doctor had called her that morning, telling her to come up to the Rehabilitation Center, saying that she "really needed to see this." She got there and, to her complete surprise, Dad was sitting in a chair listening to music. She asked, "How are you?" And he responded, "Fine."

Fast forward another two weeks. She said his long term memory was decent, but his short term and cognition were shot. For instance, he can remember things that happened 20 years ago. But, while he does remember that he was in an accident, he thinks that he was hit by lightning. And while he does realize that he is in Rehab, he remains convinced that the furniture is from his apartment. Things like that.

Fast forward a little bit more....So I receive this call from my mother, a rather urgent one, cramming even more family estrangement into my head. I don't want to lay out the details here--I feel that would be disrespectful--kind of like when Jenna writes all the details of other people's personal lives in her blog. Oh, right. Getting back on track.... (She can confront me about that one later.)

Right. Anyway. Basically, this new information, or lies, or whatever it is, has pinned me back into 15-year-old confusion. It's just like when I was in high school. Someone in the family feels like they're not getting enough attention from me, or someone else is trying to steal it, or whatever. And then some lies are created, or the past is dredged up, and I'm in the middle of a mud fight or a quiet overboiling. And I never know who's telling the truth, and who is not. My father and siblings have never contributed to this, but everyone else has and does. Including my mother. Perhaps, especially my mother. But again, I can never be sure of whom is what, and what is whom. In sum, I wish that my father were well, and I could talk to him about this, because he'll tell it like it is.

My brother Jason is very disturbed by this sudden unfolding of events. He was used to being my only brother, so when I spent some time with Rick and Ryan over the break, Jason was pissed. Very territorial. My sister Sarah, on the other hand, finds the entire situation fascinating. She calls me weekly, in fact. She has her own life to deal with, so it would appear that she hasn't been very affected. And that's my family in a nutshell.

My mother called earlier this week to tell me that she was in remission, but that she was going to go to her last session anyway. This was two days after Sarah called me completely hysterical to tell me that Mom had overdosed on some of her handy prescription pills. She'd just gotten two prescriptions filled (90-day), so she was sitting pretty with 90 Chlonadines and 90...I forget the name of it, but it's some kind of muscle relaxer. Now, I put a huge SUPPOSEDLY next to this whole ordeal, because 911 was never called, and, frankly, my mother should be dead, according to the legend. I'm sure she took a certain percentage of the pills, judging by my sister's account of events and reactions. But the story doesn't quite fit.

Well, that's it for family. More later, maybe something totally inane.